Honestly..

Tell me what's left. Because, I don't even want to know my own name. Let's live until we die together. Let's breathe a different life. I feel like I'm falling faster, with no where to fall too. So tell me, love of my life, what's left? Because the night rolls in when the voices crowd around and i"m in the middle screaming, "Kiss me, Kiss me!" Save me. Love me.

I wrote this A long time ago.

 

You're irreplaceable, indispensable. You're incredible.

As I'm picking up my pen, every thought I've ever had disappears from my memory. Like my conscience has withdrawn everything I have ever known, except this incredible loneliness. I have never felt more frustrated than when I'm trying to accomplish something so breath taking, that doesn't accomplish the task in amazement but in un-encouraging, un-believable, un-inspiring aggravation. I wish I could bleed the words of my mind so when I was found, everything would be known. I've known so many words but, I guess I just don't have the courage.

Being Me

As long as you look for someone else to validate who you are by seeking their approval, you are setting yourself up for disaster. You have to be whole and complete in yourself. No one can give you that. You have to know who you are. What others say is just completely irrelevant.

when we're alone, you adore me. when we're both dressed, you ignore me.

I can't keep putting myself in this situation.

If you cared, you would be here.

You don't, so you're not.

If you loved me, you wouldn't be able to stand how much you make me cry.

You don't, so you just walk away from it.

I can't keep loving someone who can't love me back.

I won't keep loving you.

 beautiful things never last, that's why fireflies flash

whatever

 Maybe human-beings aren't supposed to put all of their love into one person, that leaves no room to move forward when something sweet goes sour.

Maybe it I hadn't put all my focus on him, I wouldn't be running in circles wondering what's best for me. I've erased everything. 

You are all I've ever know.

Please just take me to the graveyard,

Can't you see that it's killing me? Don't you care that at any moment, I might just drop dead and you'll never be able to look me in the eyes again? Doesn't it bother you that I can't say I love you because I don't know what love is, but I know it's not supposed to hurt this much. And I know you've hurt me more than I have hurt myself.

fixmekissmesaveme

Why don't you care that I cry?

Do you care at all?

Lee,

I love you and I'm sorry.

 

The Cutter

Long you live and high you fly and smiles you'll give and tears you'll cry, and all you touch and all you see is all your life will ever be.

Click Three Times

I wish I was numb. I wish I was stronger. I wish I could stand up for myself, or just stand up to you. I wish I could express myself in a way that doesn't hurt me, I’m trying, I really am. I wish I could talk to somebody who would understand as a friend not as my Mom. I wish I had my friends back. I wish I had my cat back. I wish I had my life back when it was just us four. I wish I didn't feel guilty, maybe then I could do what is right for me. I wish I didn't feel like I was going behind his back. I wish I could do what my heart is telling me to. I wish I could scream. I wish I could fight for my life. I wish my heart would bleed out every pent up emotion. I wish I would cry all of these tears. I wish I couldn't cry, I wish I didn't have any emotions. I wish I was hallow. I wish I wasn't broken. I wish I was who I want to be. I wish I could just be alone, and feel at home.

I wish I wasn't falling apart.

advantage

I just want someone to say to me, 'ill always be there when you wake up.' The truth is you don't know me like you think you do because you never made the effort.The sad thing is, no matter how many times I try to convince myself to stay away, I'll always be here when you decide to come back.

Wristcutters II

I had a dream that I woke up in the hospital because my suicide didn't work.  
And, I just kind of missed this.

“Guilty,” I said. “I feel guilty. What does it say about me that I’d leave? What kind of person does it make me?” She didn’t reply for a moment, and I felt the long span between, the miles and miles of wire. At last she spoke. “The kind of person you are.” A rush of laughter escaped me. “What?” “It makes you the kind of person you are. People have this idea that what they do changes who they are. A married man has an affair and he thinks, Now I’ve become a bad person. As if something had changed.” “Meaning he already was a bad person?” “Meaning bad isn’t the issue. Meaning you do what you do. Not without consequences for other people, of course, sometimes very grave ones. But it’s not very helpful to regard your choices as a series of right or wrong moves. They don’t define you as much as you define them.”

The Dive From Clausen’s Pier

This is the staw, the final straw

Just because I'm sorry doesn't mean I didn't enjoy it at the time.

The BFG

"Yesterday, we was not believing in giants, was we? Today we is not believing in snozzcumbers. Just because we happen not to have actually seen something with our own two winkles, we think it is not existing."

Roald Dahl, is pretty much a genius.

I'm A Manic-Depressive

Today, I just feel like testing the boundaries. Because I'm on 4 days with little to no sleep and I just want to see what it is you really want out of this.