The Cutter

Long you live and high you fly and smiles you'll give and tears you'll cry, and all you touch and all you see is all your life will ever be.

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I wish I was numb. I wish I was stronger. I wish I could stand up for myself, or just stand up to you. I wish I could express myself in a way that doesn't hurt me, I’m trying, I really am. I wish I could talk to somebody who would understand as a friend not as my Mom. I wish I had my friends back. I wish I had my cat back. I wish I had my life back when it was just us four. I wish I didn't feel guilty, maybe then I could do what is right for me. I wish I didn't feel like I was going behind his back. I wish I could do what my heart is telling me to. I wish I could scream. I wish I could fight for my life. I wish my heart would bleed out every pent up emotion. I wish I would cry all of these tears. I wish I couldn't cry, I wish I didn't have any emotions. I wish I was hallow. I wish I wasn't broken. I wish I was who I want to be. I wish I could just be alone, and feel at home.

I wish I wasn't falling apart.

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I just want someone to say to me, 'ill always be there when you wake up.' The truth is you don't know me like you think you do because you never made the effort.The sad thing is, no matter how many times I try to convince myself to stay away, I'll always be here when you decide to come back.