Thunder

Is there a formula--some mix of emotions--for contentment?

In the past few years of my life, I've felt like a prisoner of my mind. I'm locked in and there is no escape. I dwell on one to many things floating around in my head, and I can never pin point one thing to let out and 'lighten the load'. It is discomfort of the highest degree because I am so hopeless and really just have no idea what to do with myself anymore.

I remember when there was a time I felt nothing at all. There was a time when I couldn't decipher the feeling of happiness from the feeling of sadness. The feeling of joyfulness from the feeling of anger. I'm still not so sure I know how to talk about it, whatever 'it' is exactly. But, I know it has me questioning every fiber of my being.

There was a time in my life when I forced myself into feeling something/anything. When it seemed there was no one to help me, I found my comfort. Everyone feels lost, everyone feels alone, everyone has been scared. Frustrated. I think when you feel everything all at one, you're just a jumble of passion and misgivings and overwhelmed all in all.

It's never a good thing, feeling everything all at once. Because, this cancels out that and this cancels out that and it just seems that there's nothing left. No feeling at all. It leaves your heart and your mind numb.